So yeah, have you ever had a tooth pulled? WOW it takes some welly!
About two years ago I tripped over a bicycle on the pavement (I admit I wasn't exactly sober but bicycles should at least be stored upright). I spat tooth segments a result. Sure, I should have gone to a dentist straight away, but these things can wait right?
WRONG. So last week I start with the toothache. My shatterered tooth has finally decided to go public. After seeing the dentist I'm told we can have it pulled... in THREE DAYS. Gee thanks.
Three joyous days later I'm in the dentist's chair. The nurse has never done this before (she's usually on reception) and has no idea what she's in for. The dentist spends about 20 minutes jamming a tyre lever into my upper jaw until it finally gives way with a satisfying crack, whereupon he fumbles it! I reflexively swallowed but the dentist thinks I'm choking so he pushes me up and starts with the Heimlich* maneuver, causing me to spew blood and ooze all over the chair and floor. The poor 'nurse' thought she'd killed me and had to go outside for a smoke.
*Many people believe that the Heimlich maneuver is named after Henry J Heimlich. In fact, 'Heimlich' is the sound required from the recipient. Upon having ones stomach violently crushed, one must produce the sound 'Heimlich! Heimlich!' repeatedly until the blockage is removed. Hence the name.
4 comments:
Holy crap -- that was quite a session at the dentist's! Luckily, I've never had to have a tooth pulled out and I hope I never need to. Sounds pretty effing sore....hope you're making a speedy recovery and haven't started suffering from fear of going to the dentist after that experience.
Oh and yeah, watch where you're going, James! ;-P
No worries, already been back to have stitches out, then going again tomorrow for fillings!
And booking a regular checkup for six month's time I trust?
Who's anonymous? ARE YOU MY DENTIST?
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